i feel like i'm falling

[anoshe]

Overall, Rhy is pleased with how things are going. It's not perfect, for so many reasons, but the tournament has also been well received. He's proud of what he's managed so far - he may not be able to be a perfect king, he may forever be lacking something, he may not even be entirely himself anymore, but he can do this. And he is doing it.

In the past, the balls and banquets that would be thrown at an event like this would have been everything Rhy looked forward to. He's at his best in the midst of people. A smile here, a clever word there, a flirtatious or friendly (or both) comment. It's what he's best at, more than anything. Now, though, it doesn't quite feel the same.

Oh, he's still good at it. He still enjoys it. But maybe he's changed, or maybe everything that's happened has changed him. Though he smiles and says all the right things, there's a part of him that's always scanning the crowd. For Kell, maybe, or for danger. Or for Alucard, who he wants to see and doesn't want to see in equal proportions. He should know better, but he never seems to. He never seems to learn at all, not when it comes to that man.

He steps away from the crowd for a moment, retrieving a glass of wine, finding a spot of calm.

And still, his eyes search the crowd.