botanomancy | for several hours we lay there

Yeah.

[He wonders if this is really going where he thinks, or if that's just hormones and loneliness. He shouldn't be lonely, it hasn't been that long - but he's gotten used to everything. To slipping under the covers with Ronan, kissing him in the kitchen, touching him. He misses it.]

Are you?

yeah.

[Adam hasn't said no yet- though that could just be because he doesn't know where Ronan's mind is. Ronan swallows hard and thinks about Adam next to him, sighing and reaching out for him with a smile.

Ugh.]

so feel free to say no i know this isnt a good time but

i really miss... like, your body. so i thought you could describe it for me

It's a good time. I really miss you.

[Maybe it isn't - maybe Adam should be worried about something happening, them getting interrupted. But they both have privacy right now. Adam can't make himself be the practical one, not now.

Ronan's also not very good at this, and it's cute. Not that Adam is great at it, either.]

I'm wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. Nothing underneath. Except freckles, I guess, and a few scars... I'm a little cold. I wish you were here to warm me up.

i wish i was too.

[He closes his eyes and tries to imagine it, Adam in whatever clothes he'd been able to find, nestled in a pile of blankets somewhere and thinking about him. It's almost too much to bear and he shifts where he's sitting on the couch, reaching down to adjust himself a little, as his growing interest in the situation has lead to a bit of discomfort.]

id probably make you colder at first, with pulling your shirt up and sliding my hands all across your skin. id kiss your freckles and your scars and everywhere.

[A pause, and then-]

...is this working for you? ive never done it before

Neither have I.

[He's not really sure how to reassure Ronan - it feels like it would be really strange to just say yeah, it's working for him, even though it is. Adam is thinking about Ronan's hands on him, Ronan's lips and the way he, impossibly, seems to like all of Adam's little imperfections.

It's working for him.]

Don't be self-conscious. All I'm thinking about is you. What it would be like if you were here. I'd let you take my shirt off - I'd let you take it all off, but only if you did too. So I could touch you. And trace your tattoo. I love the way you shiver when I hit a sensitive spot.

[It's better. Ronan breathes it out and bites his lip, suddenly too warm in his clothes. He reaches up, yanks his shirt off over his head, and leans back on the couch with his phone clutched tightly in his hand.]

yeah? are you touching yourself right now?

[He breathes out slow, before continuing to type.]

you should. reach down and stroke yourself just a little. you know i never have the fucking patience to tease you but pretend that i am, just this once.

I am now.

[Adam rests back against his pillows and slides a hand down, under the waistband of his sweats. Nobody's going to walk in, but he doesn't push them down - not yet, anyway. He's already feeling a little warm as he wraps a hand around himself.]

I like that you can't. I like that you want me too much to take it slow sometimes - that's why I like teasing you. You're so sexy when you want me that much. When you can't think about anything else.

[They're really doing this. Fuck. Ronan is hard in his jeans already and for the first time since this hell began, all he can think about is Adam's skin and the gentle fall of his hair and the delicate curve of his fingers, and for the first time he's not thinking about their separation or about Adam's imminent danger or about anything except for the two of them right now.]

i feel like ill die if i cant get my hands on you. fuck. are you making it good for yourself? be slow. do it how you like. i want you to tell me how it feels.

I never cared much about making it good for myself until you.

[Maybe he shouldn't admit that, but it's true. It was more like stress relief back then, hormones and tension building up until he jerked himself off in the shower, quick and efficient. With Ronan now it's different - even if they're apart like this, or even if Adam is alone, it's more real. It's Ronan he's thinking about, Ronan's hands on him, his mouth, the look in his eyes. The things they do together.

It's not stress relief. He's taking his time, stroking himself.]

It feels good, but not as good as it would if it was your hand. I'm going slow - I'm thinking about you, that time in the shower, the water on your shoulders. Your tattoo. Your cock.

[Ronan lets out a little sound when he gets the next text, and he covers his mouth with the palm of his hand, breathing into it, feeling the condensation of his breath make his skin damp. His heart is pounding. He imagines that Adam can hear it- he imagines that Adam can tug his hand away and say let me help with that.

Fuck, but he misses him.]

that was a good one. im thinking about it too, youre just... fuck, you were so hot. i loved the way you felt against me. how your cock felt in my hand. id stroke you off now if i could.

imagine its me. wrapped around you and touching you in all the ways you like to be touched. id make it so good for you if i was there, pushing you down with all your books scattered around you. i want to

[This is getting a little intense. Ronan swallows thickly and cuts his text short, sends another one.]

maybe you should call me instead. more hands free

[He doesn't text back. Even just calling Ronan, he fumbles with his phone a little - Adam is flushed and sensitive, one hand wrapped around himself, the rest of him barely able to focus on anything but Ronan.

God, he wishes Ronan were there. He wishes Ronan really were pushing him down among the books, stroking him, with his sure grip and his hungry eyes.

It's hard to focus on making a phone call when that's what's on his mind. But he manages.]

Yeah. I can't - I can't really hold the phone.

[He sets it by his head and tries to ignore the hitch in his voice, his breathlessness, how obvious he is right now. Not that it matters. Not that Ronan was expecting anything else, surely. Not that Adam can stop himself from taking it further.]

I wish I were there. I want to taste you. I want your hands in my hair while I suck you off.

Jesus, fuck.

[He picks up almost immediately of course, cradles the thin phone between his ear and his shoulder as he listens. Listening is even worse (better?) because he can hear it- the stilted, breathy voice, the brush of fabric, the slick sound that he knows has to be Adam's hand on his cock.

Ronan closes his eyes and absorbs himself in the sound, palming himself through his jeans and finally popping the button off, fumbling with the zipper onehanded, like he's forgotten how zippers work.]

Yeah- yeah, I'm thinking about you on your knees for me. You're always so fucking eager to please. [He breathes out shakily, not quite able to get a hand down his pants yet- he wants to, but he wants to hear Adam more than anything.]

I love how you get off on it. When you jerk yourself off while doing it- like you're doing now.

[He swallows thickly, barely able to manage coherence.]

You wanna stick your fingers in your mouth for me? Get 'em wet- just pretend, just for a second- you can do that, yeah?

[Even his sweats are too much confinement right now, so Adam pushes them down, over his hips, and wraps his hand around his cock again. He's flushed with arousal, with the sound of Ronan's voice, with the illicit intensity of this. Not that he's likely to be interrupted - it's practically impossible - but the fact that he's not at home behind his own locked door is enough to give it a tinge of danger.

He's not really thinking about that, though. He can't think about anything but his hand and Ronan's voice in his ear.]

Yeah - yeah, I can do that.

[Right now, he would do just about anything Ronan asked. There's still a big part of him that wants nothing more than Ronan here with him, touching him, making all this real - but there's another part that likes this on its own merits. Ronan is not always very vocal, after all, and Adam can admit to loving the way he sounds, like he can barely think straight, like everything he's saying is coming from some base instinctual level.

It's really hot.

He slides his fingers in his mouth, circling his tongue around them, thinking about Ronan - Ronan's fingers in his mouth, Ronan's cock in his mouth, the familiar and thrilling weight of Ronan on his tongue. Adam grips himself more firmly, letting out a choked-off gasp as he moves his hips.]

[He rumbles out a low groan at the sound of Adam's choked off breathing and then the barely-there noise of his mouth, his tongue slicking against his fingers. It's too much and not enough at all- he wants Adam's mouth on him, Adam's eyes looking up toward him, and it's difficult to pretend that Adam is here without his warmth, or the exquisite way his tongue works just perfectly against Ronan's cock in a way that has him coming undone effortlessly.

But it's still good to hear him. It's still good to know that somewhere else, somewhere out there and he can only hope that Adam feels the same way about him.]

You sound really good, [he murmurs, slipping a hand down the waist of his undone pants and past the hem of his underwear to finally get a grip on his cock. The sensation makes his breath catch tight in the back of his throat.]

God. Are you still thinking about me? About what I do to you?

Edited 2017-04-23 14:00 (UTC)

[That hitch in Ronan's breathing goes straight to Adam's cock, and he has to stop himself for a moment, get control of his reactions. Otherwise this will be over in a moment, and - well, that's too soon. He wants more, he wants to listen to Ronan's voice, think about him touching himself, think about all the things they could be doing together. Would be doing together, if Ronan were here.

He slips his fingers from his mouth, catching his breath.]

Yes.

[How can he not think about it? Ronan's hands on him, the way he kisses Adam's neck while touching him, his thumb brushing over the head of Adam's cock. He wants that, and more than that. He wants to taste Ronan in his mouth, hear him come undone. That last part - that's all he can have right now, and maybe that'll be enough. Until they're together again.]

I'm thinking about how when we're kissing sometimes I can feel you getting hard. It's just kissing, and I still know that you want me, and most of the time I can't help wanting to take it further. I'm thinking about how much I miss the way you touch me, your hand on my cock or your fingers inside me.

[His breathing is a little ragged.]

What you do to me - god, you don't even know. I want you so bad, all the time.

God, I want you- I've wanted you-

[His voice goes a little higher pitched, whinier as he brings himself off. He can hear how Adam is breathing on the other end of the phone line and it's not enough, it feels like it'll never be enough, but he's still getting off on it and by the sounds echoing through his speaker, he's pretty sure that Adam is getting off on it too.

Ronan curls his fingers around the base of his dick, lifting his hips to wiggle his pants further down his thighs.]

-even from before, I'd think about you. What I wanted to do to you, fuck Adam I want to take you apart and put you back together.

[He takes in a rough gasp, the springs on the couch creaking as his body rolls up into his hands, growing more desperate by the minute.]

I can't help it, just kissing you makes me- I never want to leave our bed, I could spend the rest of my life with you and your hands and your fucking cock.

[The sounds Ronan is making, the things he says - Adam wanted to wait, to try to draw it out longer, but there's no way he can. Not with that in his ear, not knowing what Ronan looks like when he's like this. Adam's hand on himself speeds up, reaching a steady rhythm that draws more ragged breaths from him.]

God - every time you touch me all I can think about is you. It's a fucking miracle I can get out of bed at all -

[He gasps, bites his lip hard. He's so close, but he wants to hear Ronan, he wants this to carry them both over the edge. He wants so much, he always has, but being with Ronan and being able to have it is almost too much for him sometimes.]

Fuck - Ronan - I want to hear you come. If I were there I wouldn't be able to stop touching you.

[For a moment, it's like Adam is here with him. The sound of his voice, the skin-on-skin noise of him stroking himself, the way he's so heated and so guttural, like the animal that he only lets out of his skin when Ronan's with him, when Ronan has his clothes off and his mouth pressed against his spine.

He tips his head back and can barely get a breath into his lungs, working his fingers faster, sliding his other hand lower to press against his balls, his knees flexing up to press his feet flat against the couch.]

Want you to touch me, [he manages to breathe out, arching his spine up on a particularly nice stroke. His face is flushed- Adam might tease him about that if he were here, and Ronan imagines Adam a world away with his own hands and his own cock out, just as affected by this and impatient and needy and the mental image of his boyfriend sprawled out in the library about to lose control is what finally makes Ronan come.

He does it in a ragged exhale that sounds almost like a growl and it leaves him shaking, hips twitching as he makes a mess of the shirt that he didn't have the forethought to take off before starting this.]

Fuck- fuck, Parrish, Adam, god.

[He breathes in deep, his head tilted back against the headrest.]

Goddamn.

[It's too much. Of course it is - how could it not be? Ronan is overwhelming when they're together, filling every sense, Adam unable to think about anything but him. He likes it, he's always liked it, because it's so rare for Adam Parrish's thoughts to be full enough that he can't think about anything else. But Ronan - Ronan does it so easily, without even meaning to, claiming every part of him and every bit of his attention.

It's different like this, with so much distance between them and nothing but Ronan's voice in his ear and his own hand on his cock. It's different, but it's not so different that Adam can drag his thoughts away. It's not so different that he has room for anything else in his mind, his heart.

And the sounds Ronan makes are too much all by themselves, even without the thought of him. Even without the knowledge of what he looks like when he comes, the way he loses himself, the animal desire and pure release. Adam loves it, Adam could probably get off just on the memory of that, but with Ronan in his ear it's so much more.

He strokes himself faster, unconsciously, his hips rising to meet his hand. Adam is quiet, usually, but he can't be now - he doesn't want to be, he wants Ronan to hear him, so he doesn't hold back, he lets himself gasp and moan, he lets himself catch his breath and he doesn't care about the edge of need in his voice.]

Ronan - oh, fuck -

[And Ronan's voice, his name, is enough to push him over the edge, enough to make him come in a sudden rush, the pleasure of it arcing through him as he bites off a sharp cry. That, at least, he has to be careful about - someone might hear - but god, it's hard to be.

He breathes hard, settling himself, a little hazy and half-stunned as he comes down from this.]

[Ronan can hear it, Adam's beautiful voice and his soft breaths, and he's louder than he usually is- Ronan files that thought away for later. For now, it's good to just bask in it, fully aware that somewhere in this godforsaken universe, Adam is doing the same, drawn out and unwound.

He wants to see it, but he's not sure if he can muster the energy to reach for his phone to change to video- this wasn't about performing anyway, it was about being with one another during this.

Maybe. It could just be the post-coital bliss, and so Ronan tries to refrain from assigning any deeper meaning to their phone sexing. What matters is this: he misses him. He misses him so much, and they just brought one another off by their voices alone. That has to count for something.

He lets out a deep sigh finally, lifting up his cleaner hand to rub at his face, groggy and still dazed from it.]

...you still there?

[It counts for a lot, in Adam's book. It's not the same as being together - it's not the same as being able to listen to Ronan's ragged breaths as he comes down, being able to watch the look on his face, the contentment in his eyes. Being able to kiss him gently, after, sated and tender and warm. Adam misses being able to touch him.

But this is something good, something incredible. The sound of Ronan's voice, no longer tight with need, is in and of itself something incredible.]

Yeah.

[He wasn't going to go anywhere. He still doesn't want to, though Adam is forced to acknowledge that they probably can't spend every waking hour on the phone together. He has other things to do, and Ronan would probably go insane. Adam would probably go insane.

Right now, though, it's perfect.]

That was - really good. You're really good.

It was your hand.

[He says a bit crassly, but chuckles all the same, his concerns temporarily lifted from his shoulders. He feels lighter, more relaxed, even with the mess all over his fist and on his stomach. He'll have to deal with that sooner or later.]

But yeah. So are you.

[Adam is always good- Ronan is sure that he knows that by now. He misses his body, the physicality of him, but his voice is nice, imagining his fingers has been nice. At least they have this much, he supposes.]

Please. You know it was never that nice for me before you.

[Which isn't to say Ronan is a sex god or anything - though Adam pretty much thinks he hung the moon, they've had their share of teenage fumbles, and they've taken their time figuring each other out. It's just that before him Adam never had the freedom or the desire to slow down, take his time, really make himself feel good.

All that is much easier when Ronan is involved, and much better too.

He sighs, soft.]

I miss you.

Miss you too.

[He sighs out. Ronan has never really taken time with himself before Adam- though perhaps that had less to do with Adam's utilitarian approach to his body, and more due to the echoes of shame that plagued him whenever he let his mind wander to the kinds of things that really got him going. Easier to work out frustrations with a bottle and a race, with blood and barbed wire.

He's glad that he doesn't have to do that anymore. He's glad that Adam can enjoy it too, really- even if most of the time, they satiate their needs in one another.]

I'll see you soon. I know I will.

You will. Whatever it takes.

[It might seem like an empty promise - what sort of control do they have over all of this anyway? In Adam's mind, though, it isn't. He'll do whatever he needs to to get back to Ronan - he'll call on Cabeswater, he'll fight these strange enemies that are supposed to be coming for them. Whatever he needs to do. Adam is, if nothing else, an extremely stubborn person.]

Be careful until then. Please, for me.

Only if you will too.

[He says- which is kind of a promise, kind of a deal. There's no reason for Ronan to be careful if Adam is just going to get taken out by the first monster that comes his way (if there are even monsters over there). He'd rather die than live in a world without Adam, though that's nothing new.

He sighs, the breath crackling up in the phone receiver.]

I promise.

I promise.

[He echoes Ronan's words softly, truthfully. He thinks maybe he'll be able to sleep now - just for a little while, he knows it won't last, but hearing Ronan's voice calms something inside him. And they'll be together again soon. He has to believe that. He does believe it.]

Good night. I miss you.

Miss you too.

[Just saying the words makes him emotional and Ronan feels himself choking, but he tries to keep it locked in his chest until he finally hangs up the call. It's true, of course- he misses him, more than he can really say, and when Ronan rolls to his back and scrubs his hand over his face, he wonders if this whole thing had really been a good idea.

Sure, they relieved some tension, but it just brought up again how far apart they were. Ronan can't pretend that Adam is just gone in a long shift to the clinic, not when he's a million miles away and his voice came over with the faint hissing of static over his communicator.

He shakes his head, rolling to his side. Of course it was a good idea. He misses him- he misses him more than he'd miss his own heart, but talking to him again was good, was reassuring in a way that just pretending wouldn't be. Now, all Adam has to do is come home. Come home, and the two of them can spend entire days without leaving one another's sight.

Until then, there'll be more phone calls. He's sure of it, and he'll answer every single one.]

for several hours we lay there

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